The ambitious and purposeful parent is intentional in how and why they do EVERYTHING! The older I get, the less time and energy I give to circumstances and situations that will not move my family's Vision forward. I specifically direct every thought, every move, and every dollar to those things that are going to be for me and my children's highest good.
I have 6 guiding principles I parent by. I want to share them with you as a means of assisting you with moving your family's vision forward. For a downloadable infographic on the first 4 of these principles, visit our "Homeschool Resources" page. My 6 Laws of Purposeful Parenting are:
1. Purposeful Parents have a Clear Vision.
A Vision anchors your family for the life you want. A clear Vision allows for you as a parent to direct your family's finances and other life areas and activities in a way that consistently. A Vision is not so much a destination as it is an "Ideal place" that you always find your family.
2. Purposeful Parents have a Plan.
Let's be clear- having a plan for your family does not mean having ALL the steps laid out before you even start. If it were that easy, everything would be super easy. Having a plan means that you strategize and put action steps in place that will get you started. My experience has been that every step along the way leads me to another step, and this pattern repeats itself. Sometimes, all you have is 1 step. Because I have trusted friends and family as part of my support system, I lean on them to bounce ideas off of to ensure I'm strategizing in a way that's for the best outcome for my family.
3. Purposeful Parents put their energy in the right places.
Your energy is your T.E.A.M. (Time, Effort, Attention & Money). Put your focus on the T.E.A.M. You will save a lot of time when you direct your energy into areas/situations/opportunities that ensure your family is in the Vision. Before I say yes to any opportunity or request, I ask myself "Does this serve the family for our Highest Good?" If yes and it can be fit into our family's schedule and aligns with our core beliefs and values, I make room. If not, I simply say "No, not at this time." When you get into a flow of opportunities that are in the Highest Good for your family, you may have to begin to prioritize opportunities. There may be times where you have to turn things down because they don't fit into your family's "short-term goals". As you get better at directing your energy, you'll also get better with knowing what to say yes and no to as well.
4. Purposeful Parents create a support system for the Vision.
I could not do all that I do without support- spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically. Due to my work schedule (I work outside the home) and sometimes conflicting schedules with the children's individual schedules, I need assistance throughout the week to make things work. I want to be clear that support systems may vary according to the person/family. My mother does not live in my state and she's almost 6 hours away but she is a part of my spiritual and mental support system. I can count on her to lend an ear when I'm frustrated or confused. I can certainly count on her for a mother's prayer.
I have a therapist with whom I meet every 2 weeks. Yes, I work on some of my own personal goals with my therapist- she keeps me accountable and helps me talk through my issues. My children's father, like myself, shuffles children to and from practices Monday-Friday. The godmother is always open to pay for a Taekwondo testing, a hotel room for an overnight stay during competition season or bring by a meal for the family when I'm just too tired to cook or I'm ill. My supervisor at work allows me to adjust my schedule when I have appointments for the children or may need to change my work location so that I can still manage my family schedule.
5. Purposeful Parents delegate part of their action plan.
This law goes hand-in-hand with the last one. I certainly delegate things to my support group. Delegate does not mean you tell everyone what to do. No (lol!). Delegation for me means that I understand that it will take an interdependent team for me to ensure my family's Vision is upheld. I can not do everything myself. I would experience (and have at least once) total burnout if I tried to assume all roles. So, I delegate 2 of my children's primary education to Whole Living Academy (WLA) at this time. They offer an Afrikan-centered virtual homeschool during the weekday. Working with WLA has allowed me to ensure (1) my youngest son advanced 2 levels with reading and writing (which increased his personal confidence level) within 4 months during the pandemic, (2) PaHeru receives health and wellness education classes as "electives" and (3) Khalid gets to build science projects, write out creative presentations and take entrepreneurship classes thus helping to expand his own small business and fulfill his goals.
I have delegated STEM classes to a certified STEM coach and Master Mathematics Teacher who helped Khalid gain his first certificate in Remote Drone Piloting, helped Khalid build his first electronic remote, 3D print and so many other projects. The local regional theatre has children theatre/performance education classes that has allowed my children to explore creative expression and public speaking. They have had the opportunity to be a part of several local theatre productions. And of course, athletics has been delegated to professional gymnastics and boxing coaches within our local area.
On another note, as I have just tried my hardest but still fall a little short, I've delegated the assistance of a math tutor. PaHeru will be in Engageable Designs' PreAlgebra Saturdays which runs a full academic year. Khalid will receive math tutoring through WLA twice a week. And there is the money trail people (LOL!).
6. Purposeful Parents are Persistent & Consistent.
Persistence and staying consistent are the key ingredients in any Vision being realized or any goal being achieved. Many people stop short of achieving goals or realizing their Vision because they give up or lose hope when the breakthrough is around the next corner. I promise you, many of the goals our family has reached has been due to persistence. I will be the person is consistently follows back up until I get a "Yes" or until people are available. For instance, I really knew that public speaking training was important and necessary for PaHeru and Khalid. I promise you, I sent a very nice text message every 2 weeks to the brother (who has an extremely busy and full schedule) until, months later, he was finally able to fit the boys in- at no cost! What?! Listen, persistence and consistency are key ingredients.